Crap, what did we do now?

More importantly, what did France do to us? I'll tell you what they did: They took our good American clothes (made in China), gave us language lessons at every turn, insisted we take some free Coke when we steadfastly refused it, helped us read a map, made us ride their buses for next to nothing, and to top it off, kept us from leaving their lavender-scented country!

I don't know how we survived, but we did and we can now tell the whole true story of our harrowing voyage to France.

Let's start on a most horrible day... »