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As is probably apparent, my latest thing is photography. I've always liked taking pictures or at least, telling Cylinda to take a picture of this or that. I'm very good at telling her what to do. But now that I've got my own grown-up camera, I've decided I don't want to shoot the normal things people want to see. Oh no, I want to take photos of household products in a sterile, completely fake environment. So, I built a lightbox.
It's made from a cardboard box, drawing paper and masking tape and it's ghetto-fabulous. There are some shop clamp lamps and some blinding light bulbs to light the thing. The cat isn't part of the lightbox (yet). It's working out okay so far, but I'm probably going to get one more lamp so that I can truly blind myself for good. I'd post some photos, but you see, they're boring as hell. It's actually for microstock photography and if you know what that is, then I'm sorry because it's a strange bug to be bitten by.
Got a Flip Ultra video camera for just being me this weekend. It's almost idiot-proof...almost. Let's not discuss how. Just believe me when I say that this camcorder is as advertised. I took it out of its box and shot my first video in under a minute.
It's going to be a long summer for the boys...
Besides all the other odd, odd issues my cat and I have in common, we both recently learned the same life lesson.
Jonas just had a dental cleaning and had to undergo general anesthesia. They shaved fur from his right arm, I mean, leg, and put this bandage on him with lots of smiley faces. He then had a tooth pulled. If the smiles were meant to distract and/or confuse him from the sheer pain, I'm pretty sure it didn't work. He's running around right now waving his fur-less leg in the air and simultaneously trying to dodge Zekey. It'd be funny if he wasn't my cat.
I'm kidding. It's hilarious.
My own lesson came courtesy of my French teacher who had enough of my smiling after every response I gave her and ran away to France for two months. She actually said to me: Just because you smile doesn't make it right. I've been getting by in this damn language on exactly just that and now what do I have left? My surliness?
Actually, I just received affirmation that I'm getting somewhere with all of this. The teacher of the summer class I'm taking to pass the time until my regular teacher returns to my surly ways suggested to the education director that I should be moved to the advanced class. Advanced! I've never been advanced in anything in my life. Slow? Yes. Confused? Ummm.... Incorrigible? Absolutely. But never advanced.
Crap. Now there'll be expectations for me to actually speak the language. Maybe I'd better off finding a "smiling" language. It's how my mom and Cylinda talk to each other.
Mom: Salinnnna! :-)
Cylinda: Si! Yes! :-) :-)
Mom: Salinnnna! Eat fruit! :-)
Cylinda: Si! Si! :-) :-) :-)
And for them, that's an in-depth conversation.
Last year, a family in France lost their cat on the a day before they moved to another town. 800 kilometers and 13 months later, the cat finds her family and says, "Found you! Now, your turn to hide."
"Je vous ai trouvé! C'est à vous!" The cat's bilingual, or so I've heard. But, the article isn't cause I can only find it in French.
Why can't my cats be this awesome?
All they have are the plump legs.
Amy Henthorn Jones of Marietta, who has six dogs and two cats, said she threw out 50 cans of pet food and several bags of dry food when the recall started.
"I didn't care if it was part of the recall list or not. If it was the same brand as one on the list, I tossed it. [...] I'm just feeding the dry until this is over; foods made with human grade ingredients," she said. "I even tasted it. It was good."
- Pet food recalls rise; so do suspicions (AJC, April 6, 2007)
I have nothing to add. No, wait, I do. Dear Ms. Jones...
This is called a filter - for a camera lens.
This is also known as a filter - for a car.
Oh look, here's another one - for water.
Please choose one (or more) and insert into your brain.
Beware the Ides of March & Ezekial the Ferocious.
My lack of opposable digits should not prevent me from using this contraption.
Maybe my paws are too plump.
I see. Chins can control this device just as easily.
And I don't have to lift my head.
Ah, screw it. Time for a nap.
Thank you, Jonas, for demonstrating my usual day at the office.
During this year's Chick-Fil-A Bowl (née Peach Bowl), there was a commercial for a free stuffed cow to the first 150,000 people who signed up. I immediately got online and had one sent to my little brother who likes Chick-Fil-A sandwiches so much, it's almost obscene. They're good, but the problem with them is that I only crave them on Sundays when the restaurants aren't open. Nevermind, I see how that's my problem and not theirs.
Anyways, I wanted to surprise him. So a few weeks after the bowl game, I was talking to him, and being my clever and sneaky self, said, "I got you something." He got real inquisitive so I had to tell him. And he then started laughing and said, "You know what?"
"I got you one, too."
What characters we are...ha ha heh heh bleh. I had a point to all this...Oh yeah, I got it in the mail today and the cats have been smiling at it. I think they want to eat a lot of steak tonight. Or actually, "eat mor stake".
Zekey will chew on you slowly. C'mon, he's only got two teeth.
This liger scares the bejeezus out of me. Actually, the people do, too.
One of our deals from all the Black Friday shopping was a new digital camera. Cylinda was playing around with it and usually, when she plays around with a camera, the cats are not safe.
But instead of frighteningly close mug shots of their faces that usually result from her "playtime", she captured some pictures of Jonas at a nice and safe distance away from him. I'm very proud of her restraint.
Here's the boy when he's not destroying every material object we own:
Summer is upon us and with it, oppressive don't-touch-me-I'm-gross heat. I would like to take 30 seconds to remind everyone and their pets to stay indoors during the highly sun-damaging hours of 1-3pm. Does that sound right? It's something like that.
If you have A/C, well, lucky you. If you only have a fan, that's kinda sad. If you have none of the above, I'd like to suggest removing all the racks from your refrigerator and sitting in there. Also, take any and all pets with you. You don't want to forget about them! Don't forget to put the food back in the fridge with you. You'll need something to eat while you're in there cause there's not much else to do.
Has it been 30 seconds yet? NO? Ummm...Oh, I know what else. Jonas The Cat can testify that spending time in the fridge is an enjoyable experience.
See, I thoughtfully removed the food to give him optimum space to stretch out (because OF COURSE that's not how our fridge looks all the time). Also, he has some hard lemonade to drink when he gets thirsty. He thanked me when he left the fridge hours later, a lot cooler and just a bit tipsy (but just a little, ASPCA!).