Football season is almost over, but before I can let it go, I'd like to air a few of my grievances with it. I know that roughly zero people who have anything to do with the NFL are reading this, but that's the not the point, is it? The point is Scott Hanson stinks.
Seriously, he is the worst host who has ever hosted anything and I'm counting Whoopi at the Oscars. For those not in the know, Hanson is the annoying presence on the NFL Network's Red Zone Channel. This channel shows all the touchdowns and game coverage commercial-free on Sundays.
Without enumerating because I'm annoyed by all these things equally, here are his most offensive traits:
- He stutters noticeably
- He uses 200 words to say "...and he scores!"
- He injects useless and uninteresting trivia which slows down the play-by-play commentary to an unnerving level
- He blinks too much
- He lies and gets facts wrong
- His suit sleeves are too short
While I would tolerate some of these characteristics in a normal, everyday person, I can do no such thing with someone who is on the air for six hours straight on a channel that would otherwise be fan freaking tastic.
Now I wasn't passive with my dislike of Hanson's hosting skills. I wrote the NFL Network a strongly-worded letter a few weeks back and I have no doubt they're considering his abysmal performance over the course of the season and hiring someone who knows when to shut up. No need to thank me for being the squeaky wheel.
Jesus I wrote some really long sentences up there. I'll try for shorter ones for the rest of this diatribe.
So what else peeves me about my favorite professional sport? A great majority of the players speak in the second person on topics that no regular person could ever relate to. It bothers me because I'm anal as hell, but also because it's a really dumb way to speak. Just say "I" instead of "you" because you're talking about you, not me. Am I right? I know I am.
I thought I had other things that got stuck up my butt, but I'm not feeling it right now. This coming weekend is the last football-mania weekend until September. There are only 2 conference championship games next weekend compared to the 4 divisional games this weekend. I'm not ready to find things to do with my sudden free time on Sundays, but I'll have no choice, I guess. That's why I pay for the NFL Network year-round. So I don't have to really let go.
Look, I'm not one to judge...no, wait, I do judge, but I'm also a hypocrite because I'm trying to use Twitter more for absolutely no reason. I just think you should know what I'm doing and you should know it often. It's not like I'm snapping photos of every damn thing in front of me and posting it on Facebook. Jesus, people. You know who you are.
Well, not until I get a smartphone, anyway. I have my beady eyes on the Nexus One (i.e., Google Phone), but damn Google and/or T-Mobile for making it impossible for Family plan customers to upgrade. There's actually a work-around that I found on the interwebs, but I don't like work-arounds very much. I like things handed to me on a silver platter.
...which brings me to my point! Just kidding, I don't have a point to this. I'm just bored because I set my laptop ac adapter on fire this morning so I can't use it to build a new website that currently top-secret but will soon be something I can't stop talking about. How exactly am I posting this pointless post, then? It's the craziest thing: I don't know.
This will be my 3rd ac adapter for the same laptop, although only the first that I've destroyed by flame. Oh yeah, I was talking about the Nexus One and how much I want it. I never got into the iPhone and I don't even use my current dumb phone all that much. But I can only charge it in the car nowadays and the battery doesn't hold its juice so I need a new one. Why not get the newest new one there is?
I actually have other superficial reasons for wanting it, including the built-in GPS app. Even though my inner compass is freaking amazing and always spot-on, it doesn't come with an updated map so this GPS unit would be handy for traveling. I've also been in the market for a small pocket camera and this would fit the bill. And that's all the reasons I have. I'll get it soon when Google comes to its senses and actually wants to sell the phone to more than a few thousand people instead of just telling themselves how great they are.