Project Yen

Top 10 2006 ...things

	10. Cross-country trip: In January, I was dragged, I mean, I gleefully went along on a trip across the bottom half of the USA with my family. We had a total of four CDs, three of which were Celine. There was also a bird in the car and, oh yeah, everyone had to put up with me. It was, in a word, awesome.
9. Black Friday: This was the first experience of my life shopping on the day after Thanksgiving. Actually, it was more the night. And more actually, it was the last experience of my life shopping like that. Insane in the membrane.
8. Teaching myself piano: I've always wanted to play Fur Elise and since I've received a keyboard for Christmas, I've learned this Beethoven mega-hit. My recital is at 4pm this Saturday in the cafeteria. I come on after the kindergarten class. Bring the camcorder.
7. Other French music: After focusing a little scarily on just Celine and Isabelle for about two years, I branched out and realized that there are more of them and they're almost as good (but not as hot). In particular, Chimene Badi and Patrick Bruel (who are really French and not the fake Canadian French) are quite talented in their poppy pop-star ways.
	6. Living in Atlanta: I've been here for...1,2,3...how many years?...and this past year was one where I was actually proud to be here. With the world's largest aquarium opening and the Louvre collaboration at the High Museum of Art getting off to a great start, it felt like Atlanta was being recognized by others (ha, take that, NY MOMA) as a real city. When I was watching the July 4th fireworks at Lenox (the largest fireworks display in the Southeast) I felt very small, but at the same time...very wet. It was raining.
5. Celine's Vegas spectacular showtacular: When we were in Vegas for a week in the Spring, I saw Celine not once, not twice, but THREE awesome times. It was awesome. The first night, when no one else would come with me (losers), an official Caesars Palace dude upgraded me to orchestra level seats where I sat beside French people making fun of the Americans. It was awesome. And then, at the third show, we had second row seats and I was this close to Celine. But I kept cool, man. It was awesome.
	4. iPod: It sounds stupid to say that a little music playing device changes your life, so I'm not going to do it. But...it's so pretty. And pretty things (usually women-like) can change your life. So if my iPod (the I stands for Isabelle) is a woman and I'm...no, wait, I'm still me and you're....HEY! Who the hell are you?
	3. Montreal: With my dear friend Britton, I had one of the best vacations of my life in this city. I know, and it was in Canada, too! When I was younger and even more naive than I am now (yes, it is possible), I wanted to live in so many cities in the world, but now that I'm old...er, I really only like to be home. When I was in Montreal, though, I felt I was already there.
	2. Seeing Isabelle Boulay in concert: I know her shows are really part of the Montreal trip, but this experience is separated in my head. I honestly connect with Isabelle's music like no one else's and her voice is the most wonderful thing I have ever heard in my life. I also think (and you might not know this about me) that she is one of the most prettiest things I've ever seen in my life, including iPod. Wow, right? Wow.
	1. Learning French: Applying myself to learning this ridiculous language (I say that with respect because I believe it's the most beautiful sounding language in the world) tops my top things of 2006. I went from not knowing how to ask questions (it's more complicated than necessary) to having a third of the people in Montreal respond back to me in French (an accomplishment in a one-third English city, I think) to reading Harry Potter en francais (up to Azkaban now). It's been quite a process and the more I learn, the less I think I know. But that means I'm learning, right? Or is it the other way around...Anyways...
Bonne Annee! Happy New Year!

Labels: Celine, French, Isabelle, Music, Trips

« December 31, 2006 7:28 PM | Post a Comment | 0 comments »

Georgia Aquarium

Jellies always belong with the in crowd.

Whalesharks are neither whales nor sharks, but GINORMOUS.
They can get as big as a school bus.

As if their nasty little teeth don't make them scary enough, piranhas also don't move.
This is not an action shot. They're just being creepy.

The loggerhead turtle dude. Awesome.

Labels: Atlanta

« December 26, 2006 9:59 AM | Post a Comment | 0 comments »

Here's a present...

Emmanuelle Béart & Fanny Ardant together in the same movie.
That's a gift that just keeps on giving.

Labels: Movies

« December 24, 2006 11:09 AM | Post a Comment | 1 comments »

The dream is over

After almost every grocery shopping trip, I've left cursing the store. Could it be because of my Tourette's? Or my lack of anger management? Who can really say? Shut up, not you. But a lot of baggers at grocery stores are so inept that it makes me wonder if they paid attention during their grocery store training orientation.

What's that? They probably didn't have any training on bagging? WELL, YOU COULD HAVE FOOLED ME. I've actually dreamt of opening a bagging training school because while I've never had professional experience bagging, I have this thing called COMMON SENSE. You see...

More than one item CAN fit into a bag, whether it's paper OR plastic. Just because that's a soda bottle and that's a soda bottle and that's a soda bottle which all belong on the same shelf in the store, it doesn't mean they all belong in the same bag when leaving the store. Blah, blah, blah...

I could go on, but my heart's not into it. This morning, I've been informed that there are people more qualified to open this dream bagging school than me. Stupid AJC. Why do I keep reading you?

Marietta man picks up chance to bag U.S. title (AJC, 12/21/2006)

In addition to this soul-crushing moment of my life, I learned that the competition is in its 21st year. Holy moley. And it's going international in January. Not only am I not qualified to open the school amongst all these award-winning bagging masters, I won't have a paper bag shaped trophy to show for it.

Oh, well. Another day, another dream dead. Now, where'd my CRUSH go...

Labels: News

« December 21, 2006 7:30 AM | Post a Comment | 0 comments »

Conversation killer

I just completed my first year of taking French classes. A year ago, when I was taking the oral placement exam, I couldn't even tell the pretty, pretty teacher testing me what I did that morning. Now I can tell anyone who's willing to listen what I did, how I did it, and what I'm going to do tomorrow. Of course, I'll say it fairly slowly and with awkward pauses...but that's just how I talk anyways. All in all, I have to admit that I'm making some progress.

I "admit" because I think it's easier to deny any ability to speak another language. To own up to it would involve having to prove it to somebody someday and I'm not into pop quizzes like that. But there's other kinds of pop quizzes that I...uh, nevermind.

Saying I speak Teochew isn't the same, though, because I never learned it through study. I just know it, but not really know it. I could never teach another person how to speak it because I don't know the grammar rules or the correct tones or anything other than how to talk to my family. They, incidentally, are the only people in the world who speak Teochew. If you speak it, I'm related to you. There's a small town in China where everyone speaks it. They're all my cousins. All of them.

Anyways, with French, I took three group classes before my patience (and, you know, my ego) ran out. Private lessons with my charming and cute teacher (let's call her LB) have been immensely helpful. LB's a super-teacher. She has the ability to re-word any phrase until I understand her without having to fall back on English. She'll wait for me to speak awkwardly and respond to me as if I'm a brilliant conversationalist. You'd think she'd also have to be delusional, but she's not! I don't think so, anyways...

Here are two snippets of a brilliant conversation we had recently. It's translated so that you won't be irritated at me (for this, at least):

LB: Do you have TV5? <--This is a French TV channel
Moi: No, I can not receive the satellite. <--that word was definitely said in English
LB: Because of trees?
Moi: Uhhh... <--my most commonly uttered French "sound"
LB: Because there are trees?
Moi: Uh, yes.
LB: Move.
Moi: Uhhh...
LB: Mooove. (Day-mayn-nah-jayyyyy.)
Moi: Oh. Hahaha.

Moi: Next year, I'm going to France for the first time.
LB: Your first time? You have to go to Normandy. <--That's where she's from.
Moi: Well, I'm going -
LB: No, you must go to Normandy.
Moi: But I'm going in the month of -
LB: Normandy is like Wisconsin. We have fairs.
Moi: But it'll be -
LB: Oh, yes it'll be cold.
Moi: But I want to go to Normandy...someday.
LB: Someday?!
Moi: Actually, in two years.
LB: Two years?! <--I stopped talking after this.

I wrote that all wrong because it seems like she's cutting me off a lot. She doesn't. LB's one of the politest people I've ever met. But the real reason is, being a super-teacher, she can read my mind and (bonus!) is also very good at charades. Because, you see, while I'm speaking at my incredibly slow pace, I'm also miming half the words.

Labels: French

« December 14, 2006 12:09 PM | Post a Comment | 0 comments »

Fanny is toast

I experienced an...odd...moment recently when I was talking to my beguin. If you know what that means, that may be an odd moment for you. Good luck with that. Anyways, I mentioned Fanny Ardant and the first thing she said was, "She's beautiful." That, of course, is a fact. So I agreed, but instead of being tactful, I waggled my eyebrows and said, "yessss," which really meant, "that woman is hot buttered toast."

Both are yummy, but only one can be the same age as my parents and still be tasty.
If the other was that old, it would be less yummy; much, much less.

I stopped waggling as soon as I could (about 10 seconds) but not before morphing into a dirty, old man who likes the Sears catalog for all the wrong reasons. It made me think about the following, some of which have been discussed by others less creepy that me:

Many women are comfortable discussing the attractiveness of other women and still sound respectable. Amazing!
I can not. Not surprising!
Many men are uncomfortable discussing the attractiveness of other men. Me too! Just kidding!
Rob Estes used to be my TV boyfriend but I've also worn glasses for most of my life. Do the math!

Labels: Food

« December 07, 2006 4:51 PM | Post a Comment | 0 comments »

These cats will eat your head