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Misled


Transparent pie, you lying liar, why are you not as gross as you look?

I found a pie shell laying about this morning (don't ask) and made myself fill it with pie. My problem was that I only had eggs, butter and sugar in the kitchen. No problem, that makes pie, my Joy of Cooking book told me.

Great, what kind of pie? Transparent pie, it said. Really, like as in, see-through? Sweet. No, I mean, literally. After mixing all the sugar I could find with some eggs and butter, I waited 40 minutes for it to bake in the oven. When I took it out, things were not promising. It looked burnt, but it didn't smell like it. So I thought maybe its insides would wow me. After letting it cool a bit, I cut it and that picture is what I saw. What a big liar.

But a lying pie is still a pie. And it's not bad. It tastes like one of those egg custard, flan, creme brulee, dan tat things, but the top is chewy because there's 4 pounds of sugar in it. On the con side, I could be developing Type 2 Diabetes as I sit here. But I HAD to fill that pie shell.

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Oy. The trouble you get into when left to your own devices for 4 consecutive days.

At least this confirms that I serve and important and useful function in your life. Not that it was ever in doubt....

Save me some!

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