History lesson
Georgia ranks 24th in the US in terms of square mileage, but she ranks second in the total number of counties (159). Am I lying? No!
See, way back in the early days of statehood, a lot of white guys got together, got drunk (of course) and thought it'd be hilarious to make schoolchildren learn a ridiculous amount of county names and then be tested on them. With so many counties, most of the names that were thrown in the hat had to be used.
For example, sober people don't think saying, "I live in BUTTS" is funny, but drunks (and pre-teens) do.
Sometimes drunks get angry. One did and cursed his sandwich, saying, "F'ing ham! I wanted turkey." And so begat EFFINGHAM County.
Someone wanted to honor the Confederate hero Jefferson Davis, but another person, who forgot the president's last name (alcohol impairs memory), already suggested and approved JEFFERSON County. So they tossed in just plain Jeff, JEFF DAVIS. Hey, the guy was president and ran away from the Union soldiers dressed like a woman! He deserves two counties.
And so on and so forth. Throughout the night, names were suggested, laughed at and then approved. It was very democratic. By the time the sun was rising, most of the men were passed out, but the few who were still awake began to get hungry. And so, from a South Georgia farmer, came the best county names:
Boy howdy, it EARLY in da moanin, aint it? Time fer maw to fix me sum uh dat der BACON, all CRISP-like and COOK up sum strong COFFEE. Boy howdy, it shure bout dat time.
And so begat the Breakfast Counties. Yes, I do wish I was lying.
If you think the counties are a barrel of monkeys, the names of towns will make you want to drive around Georgia on the way to Disney World. (Yes, it can be done). Another day, maybe, and we'll learn about Hopeulikit, Santa Claus and Between.
« August 03, 2006 11:34 AM | Post a Comment »
1 comment(s):
said:
You know, the saddest part of all of this (and that's saying QUITE a lot) is the fact that I would much rather have some drunk good ol' boys running around doing nothing more harmful than thinking up funny county names as our state leaders than the sober bushel-full of idiots we have these days, who have somehow got it into their heads that they actually are smart enough to "legislate". *shudder* Ain't democracy a grand thing...
Sometimes the truth really is stranger than fiction...
